late night queries.

I sit here listening to a mix Ed Sheeran and Coldplay serenade me as I think about either sleeping, doing homework, or watching more Gilmore Girls (which seems to be the winning contender). I decided to take a break and do a round of blog reading. As I was going about this I began to think about why I blog. If you started from the beginning of this lovely blog, and I hope you did, you'll know that I started this blog for a writing final. The professor just wanted us to have a few entries from time to time up until he graded them and then we could be done basically. But I had wanted to start a blog for some while and I just figured "Hey! When life gives you lemons. Right?" But why blog, liv? I mean I could have easily been done with this a long time ago, so why keep going. I'm not very good at blogging consistently but I'm trying I swear. Here are a few reasons as to why I began this blog....

1. A tiny (very very small) part of me always wanted to become a writer.

2. I'm going on a study abroad so I might as well keep this going, right?

3. I suck at writing things down but I'm always on my computer so I can easily access it anywhere.

and finally

4. I just want to share my thoughts. 

I feel that  number 4, and 2 of course, are my most important reasons. My purpose of this blog wasn't to become famous, it isn't so people can gush over my life because it is far from "gushable" material, it wasn't so I could be trendy and join the crowd. It was for me. I haven't told many people about this blog and if I have I bet they have forgotten about it. But I have a feeling someone out there reads it and even if no one is reading it... so what? *shrug* This is for me, my journey as a student, learning more about myself, and gaining knowledge that will someday help me in whatever life has in store for me. 

If anyone who reads this knows me in any way, they know that I never stop talking. I'm loud, abrupt, outgoing, and just share a lot. Like A LOT. I've come to realize that this is not the case for everyone. Obviously everyone is not as loud as me, I learned that a loooong time ago, but I've come to realize that not everyone is as sharing as I am. Of course there are some things I keep to myself, but I feel that I'm generally an open book. My best friends know basically everything about me. I'm very giving, loving, and trusting and I give my love and trust to them hoping they handle it with care because it is tiny pieces of me. Now you may be asking yourself- "Doesn't she know that could lead to her being hurt by those people??" And yes, I do. I've already experienced it. I've had my best friends walk all over me and take advantage of how trusting I am. They know that no matter what, I'm always going to be there for them. No matter what. I've had best friends just disappear out of my life with no explanation. With them goes those little pieces of me, just waiting and wanting to come back, and just when I begin to feel whole again, said friends come back into your life and you are torn again because you don't know that to do. Trust or not trust?? That is what has been circling in my brain for DAYS on end now. 

TRUST

How are some more trusting than others? How do people walk all over you when you have given them all of your trust? I mean it's not like I'm expecting everyone I come in contact with to tell me their life story, because that it just silly! But I guess I'm hurt knowing that I share so much with people and they either take advantage of it, or disregard it like it wasn't hard for me to give up. Trusting someone and having trust be broken is a big part of life that we all have to learn eventually. It still hurts just the same. But I don't mean to be heavy with the weight of my thoughts. They run away from me at night... It's dangerous. I'll try to contain them next time, but no promises. Trust has just never been an issue for me up until lately, and I don't want previous experiences to make me become jaded and cynical about life. "Trust no one" pssshh. I ain't about that. I guess as the end of the Thankful Month coming to a close, I have become thankful for the trials and bumps in the road that I have encountered. I know that seems weird to be grateful for short comings but I feel that this month has shown me to be grateful in all circumstances, and to be careful who I give little pieces of myself to.

Until next time,

-O

long time, no writing.

Hello blog! I've missed you. I promise I'm not dead. I'm apologize to my readers.... reader... mom? I actually don't think my mom even reads my blog... That's kinda sad, huh? But I mean I know someone out there reads it sooooooo- Hello out there!

Anyway this post is to reconnect with my social media and my love for talking about myself. Just kidding... but what girl isn't a little vain?? Really? Just me? Okay whatever you say! But really though... I actually really hate talking about myself. BUT! What this post was really about was to share with everyone why I have been so absent. As you know, or can guess, I started my Sophomore year at college! Yas. It has been quite the endeavor, but I've loved every second of it. I honestly don't think I have ever written so many papers in the past 2 months then I wrote all of high school. (lie, but it seemed plausible). Sooo the moment you've all been waiting for! Where has Liv been??

School, work, homework, sleep, repeat. Right? But that is the average life of a college student! Except I have something that keeps me from going absolutely insane. I belong to the best sorority at the University of Utah--Chi Omega! These girls keep me laughing and make me feel loved constantly.

How is this part of my daily routine? There are always activities going on every single day. Even if I don’t go to an activity, I am bound to run into a girl on campus and chat for a while. I’m still fairly new at this sorority life so I’ll keep y’all updated. But these girls are so supportive in everything I do. If I feel like going to get a burrito at 3 in the morning, I can call one of them and they will be there in a jiffy. I'm never feel alone. They are a constant, strong group of friends (sisters) that I have made at school. Everyday encourage me to be better and strive for greatness. 

They have become a part of me and I wouldn’t ask for anyone better to be sharing my college experience with. They bless me more and more every day. #blessed. These girls keep me laughing, talk to through challenges, help me with homework, and take shameless selfies with me!

Selfie game on point while waiting for Aaron Carter.

This is my Big Sis. Isn't she perfect?

    Really I don’t know what I would do without them. Their cute texts about how something reminded them of me, having someone to sit with in my American Civ. class, having someone to rely on at any time of day (or night). I’m thankful for them and for the part they play in my everyday life and I can’t wait for more adventures and memories I get to have with these amazing girls.

Our family! Obsessed with them

Until next time,

-O

thank you.

Well a part of me is very sad to write the following sentence... School starts on Monday. (insert crying emoji) I'm not ready in the slightest. This summer has been a great adventure though! I feel that I have grown a lot from the trials and accomplishments I have had in these past four months. Not only was this summer a a great one, but I am starting me sophomore year in college. I can't believe it either! Time has flown by!! Any way today I focus on summer and the adventures I went on with my amazing friends!

I call this "Fancy-Pants Adulthood"

Sierra, Paige, Abby, Chandler, Kristy, me

We got a taste what it was like to be fancy. We went to Afternoon Tea time at the Grand America Hotel. It was absolutely stunning! There was a harpist, and she was playing the most beautiful music. The whole atmosphere was just so sophisticated! I felt like I was 25 and talking to my recently college graduate friends as we head to the next chapter of our lives! But we're not 25, we're silly 19 year olds that want an afternoon of class and sophistication. We even promised that we would me it a yearly thing to do.

The first course was a whipped cream dish to cleanse our pallets. Serious Princess Diaries moment! You know when she eats the ice cream, thinking it's ice cream but it's really not? But ours wasn't that cold! That flower in the center? Yeah, that's tea too! It grew inside the hot water an turned into a green tea. First it was a little grassy ball, but then there was a flower right before our eyes!

Cool huh???

Our second course was biscuits, cucumber sandwiches, and other tiny finger food! Like hamburger sliders, shrimp and lobster stuffed rolls and egg salad on a tiny toast! It all was ah-amazing!

It was such a fun day! We talked about our summers and the individual adventures we had and were about to embark on! Sierra just got back from the Disney College Program in Florida and is going back to BYU in the fall, Paige is going on her mission to Washington DC, Abby told about her back packing trips, Kristy is getting ready for study abroad to Dublin and going back to ASU with Chandler in the fall, and Chandler and I are getting ready for our study abroad to Rome! We listened to the harp and we drank our fancy tea! It was great being with friends in such a gorgeous place!

Yummy desserts!

Of course being in the Grand America, we had to walk around the hotel and see what it had to offer!

The gelato!!

Macaroons! Remind anyone of Gossip Girl??

Shameless tea cup selfie

And what kind of teenagers would we be without taking a couple selfies?! Right??

Chan's using the telly! (insert british accent)

That concluded our day of "Fancy Pants Adulthood"! It was a day to remember and I'm so thankful to have them in my life. Such amazing examples to me everyday. But that's not it! We got to swim with the fish! Yeah, swim with the fish! In Utah!We went snorkeling at Bonneville Seabase. We were able to feed the fish and swim with them too! There was a 10 foot Nurse Shark at the sea base while we were there, but sadly we didn't see the shark. I'm totally serious too, the shark is real!! It was so cool, we got to feed the fish lettuce and swim around with all different kinds of fish. We even got the cool Chinese Pedicure! (You know the kind the got on Desperate Housewives of Orange County?? Yes, I did use that as a reference.) You know where the little fish eat off the dead skin on your feet??? It sounds sooooo gross... and it probably is...! It tickles like no other, so those who have ticklish feet-- I'm warning you it's super ticklish! It was such a fun day and I encourage everyone to go out there! The staff is super helpful and so nice! I'll be going back very soon!

HAPPY SHARK WEEK!

It was a fantastic summer! I can't thank my friends enough for being there for me and for being crazy with me! I'll miss you all once you're away at college, but we'll see each other very soon! Thanks for such a great and memorable summer!!! Kisses!

Until next time,
-O

as of late.

Summer as of late, has been a great one.Fantasy Con, Stadium of Fire, canyon drives, drive in movies, swim parties, game nights and lots of laughs. July came way to fast and I don't want summer to come to a close yet. So August, take your time! I still have a lot of stuff that I want to do. Like go to the Aquarium, Ikea adventures, Hoogle Zoo, basically just the summer before I officially become an adult! 

So let your freak flag fly!

 Until next time,
-O

freshman year ✔️

With my first year as a college freshman coming to a close, I've been looking back over all the things that I have learned. So I decided to make list of my thoughts, and ideas to possibly help incoming freshman, or just for people to mull over.

1. It's okay to be a 'loner'.

If you have a chance to sit alone outside, listen to some music, and do some homework/study time in-- do it. You may feel like a complete loser because in high school it meant you possibly might not have friends. But college... no one cares.

 2. No one may care, But YOU need to care.

Everyone is so self involved, that they don't notice if you don't do your hair, make up, or didn't get dressed in your cutest out fit. All that matters is that you care for yourself, and your studies. My first semester I was going through a really hard time which made me really not care about anytime but this problem, and because of that I struggled with a lot of things. I didn't do well in school and my social life kinda came to a halt. I wish that someone would have told me-- take care of yourself.

3. Long distance friendships are possible

One of my very best friends lives in Arizona for school. We still talk and snap chat every day. We talk about  everything under the stars- school, boys, food, and life in general. Even though I don't really see her much, it's like nothing has changed. Also the majority of my guy friends are all serving LDS missions all across the world. I've managed to keep in contact with them every week and we're still very close. I love them and am proud to call them my best friends.

4. Sometimes the friends you thought you'd never grow apart 

from. Sadly it can happen. 

I'm sad to say that this is true, even the closest of friends grow apart. It's hard because daily I still have something to tell her, but I don't think that it matters much to her now. But it's okay life goes on and people change, you just have to keep your head up.

5. No matter how much you say your over something, it still hurts. 

I feel like every girl has said "I'm fine. I'm over it" 99% of the time you definitely are not and inside your heart is like a raging fire. If someone hurts you but you don't want to seem weak or pathetic- you brush it off. When inside you feel in gnawing at you. Accept it, and come to terms with it. It still hurts. Talk about, cry about it, and then eventually with time you will heal. But don't let it break you down. You, we as girls, are stronger than that.  

6. The Lord can and will help you through anything. We just need to rely on Him.

Because of Him we never have to got through grief or sorrow alone. We need to rely on the Lord and He will come to our aid. He built us to last.

7. You are never alone. 

The Lord and our Savior are walking by our sides. They are holding our hands and helping us every step of the way. We just need to let them help us.

8. Stay close to your family. Whether you live at home or move away. 

When I feel frustrated or just angry, I tend to shut the people who are closest to me away. I ignore them, and I put up a front. I've come to realize, way too late, they can help you with lots of things. Even if it's just listening. 

9. Taking the bus isn't so bad. 

I choose to live at home this year, and I didn't want to pay like a crap load for parking. Plus parking at the U is never that great anyway. But like whatever floats your boat! AND the U students get to take public transportation free with our I.D. cards, so that's a plus. Also, you meet some pretty interesting people, and you hear a lot of stories. You may not want to listen because it's early and your mother told you never talk to strangers, but trust me, I heard some cool stories on the bus and met some very funny people some of which even brightened my day.

 10. After taking the almost everyday from August to the end of April, the bus drivers remember who you are. 

Needless to say, that the bus drivers and I became friends. With a nod here and there, and a smile shared between us.

11. You are always in need for a good chick flick. 

 AN ABSOLUTE MUST!!! I mean, I basically survived off hick flicks by whole life. But I'm telling you, they are seriously a godsend. Maybe it's the fact the I'm a hopeless romantic who believe strongly in love and outlandish gestures. I believe that sometimes you may love someone and never even know. Also the movies helped distracted me from my ever so pro-longed single life. Which I'm not complaining about. Just stating the facts. 

12. Pinterest is the best.

I suffer from a serious case of wanderlust. I dream of far of places, and adventures. So of course Pinterest is a perfect way to "go" places without really having to go, and when I was feeling stressed or down, a good round of pinning could usually lift my spirits.  

14. Pinterest is the worst.

Even though Pinterest is a great way to de-stress and wind down. It also is very distracting! So be careful and pay attention in class. 

15. Read. Read. Read. Read. READ!

This was the one thing I wish they had told my in high school. You have to read the ENTIRE text books for class. It's not just to look over to flip through. Make sure that you actually read it. Also-- doing your homework IS NOT the same thing as studying! So plan your time wisely, and make sure that you understand the material, and if not don't be afraid to ask someone for help. 

16. You can't plan out your whole life, because it doesn't always work out. 

Yeah... I'm still learning this. I tend to look ten step ahead, instead of what is it in front of me. I think about the future instead of enjoy the present. I think that is part of the reason this year was so hard for me. Instead of taking it day by day, I was looking way into the future and worrying about that, even though what happens in the future depends on what you are doing RIGHT NOW. What I've also come to learn, is that the Lord knows our potential much more then we could even fathom. He knows out divine potential and wants to see us reach it. The only thing is we can't do it on our own. We constantly need to rely on Him to guide us there.

17. Take an institute class.

Doooooooo iiiiiit! Honestly, institute helped me so much! Sometimes I felt like I didn't have  time for it, but it usually came back to help me out. Plus my grades improve much more when I starting take institute. I promise you it helps. 

18. You don't need to know your major yet

Don't stress about your major yet. Don't put it off but, try intro classes out. Talk to people within the major, look into clubs. Do all that you can to research this. You can change it, yes, but that could set you back or maybe not. It all just depends on what you choose. But honestly, don't worry about your major quite yet. Look into things and really find out who you are in the big college atmosphere. 

19. Do one thing everyday that scares you.

 I learned that since I went to a school where almost none of my friends went, I was totally alone. I regret this but I'm telling you so no one makes the same mistake I did. You have to push yourself. Talk to people, join clubs, make new friends, go crazy, live it up, go on adventures. Enjoy it!

20. Always remember that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

21. Sometimes you just really need your alone time. No matter how social anyone is, sometimes you just need to be alone, cozy up in a blanket and read a book or watch some Netflix.

22. Trust yourself, and believe in yourself

It's okay to feel a little unsure. But I learned that all the decisions you make only affect you. So you need to trust your gut. Also pray like crazy! Trust the Lord and trust yourself.  You can do this. You just have to believe. I know it's scary, but a lot of new things are a scary.

23. Most importantly love yourself!

You may not get the grades you wanted, or may gain the Freshman 15, or just do something totally embarrassing. You have to remember to go easy on yourself. Life is hard enough and you don't have to be any harder on yourself. Be compassionate. You can always try harder but give it time.

24. Breathe

Don't over think tests, breathe. It's going to be the best couple of years ahead of you. Savor it and capture every moment.

25. YOU CAN DO IT!! 

 

And to those of you lucky ducks who graduated this past year, congrats to the grads! Those who finished their first year of college, PROUD OF YOU! We did it! Now we have the summer to collect ourselves and gather what we've learned, hopefully remember it and return in the fall. For those who are just graduating high school. I was there to, not too long ago. Just remember to breathe and ask questions! Don't be afraid to talk to people, and understand more what it going on. But mostly enjoy it, because man, does it fly by. 

Until next time,

-O 

He built me to last.

                                 

With General Conference this past weekend, I've had a lot of time to think. For me the main points that stuck out were: gratitude, self-improvement, and love for yourself and for others. I struggle with all of these sadly, but luckily I can try to be better everyday. President Uchtdorf's talk was all about gratitude. I always feel like his talks are meant just for me. He always touches on a problem, or question, that I have and totally hits it on the head. All the speakers during conference really help me, but I feel most in tune with Pres. Uchtdorf. In his talk what really stood out to me was how  being grateful for our trials will help us overcome temptation and tribulation. "Gratitude is a catalyst to Christlike happiness" he said this several times, and I've come to realize that he is right. Have you ever noticed that sometimes when you think about trials that you've had in the past, you become grateful because they made you who you are as a person and nothing can change that? Yeah, me too! Our trials and successes, our ups and downs make us who we are today, and we need to be thankful for it all. I know it can be hard, being thankful for something that causes us distress, and uneasiness. Just remember that in the times that are the hardest our Savior is right by our side, holding our hand telling us we can do it. That's what need to be grateful for! In times of heartache, that is when our Savior is walking side by side with us. We need to thank him for that and the fact that we are becoming stronger, and happier. Obviously we won't be instantly happy, but saying a quick prayer of gratitude can make a world of difference. I struggle with this too because in trials in when we feel the most alone. But in trials that is when we are most comforted. I know it's hard, and doesn't seem to make sense, but I know that it is true. Pray for strength, love, happiness, charity, help, but mostly pray with gratitude. 

 Until next time, 

-O

a little extra omph.

A friend of mine, who is on a mission, told me to listen to a song called Rivers and Roads by The Head and the Heart (link at the bottom). His exact instructions were: "Tonight, go to a quiet place, and listen to Rivers and Roads by the Head and the Heart. Listen to the words, don't move, just listen.  And then cry probably." At first when I read this I laughed and thought what a goof. So I put it off and thought I'll listen to it eventually, but it wasn't going to be that big of a deal. The next night I was having a rough day, and a thought occurred to me: Liv, listen to the song. So I found the song, shut my door, laid on my bed, closed my eyes and just listened. And can I tell you that this song was a serious answer to my prayers. Maybe not in a way that I thought it could be answered, but it surely calmed me and it made my mind quiet down. The song was special, it reminded me of how much I miss my friends, and indeed I did cry. There's a lot of things that I miss. It's so surreal to see how far my friends and I have all come in a year. Missions, college, engagements, serious life changes. The seniors (now), are getting their mission calls, going on choir tour, studying for AP tests, doing the musicals, and GRADUATING.  That was us exactly a year ago. It just makes me nostalgic for the times I had my senior year and it also makes me appreciate the time I'm given right now and to live it up. Not like some stupid YOLO garbage. But  to really live. (insert cliche moment) Smell the flowers, read a great book, enjoy the sun, stand in the rain, and to really laugh with all my heart. I found this quote a couple of days ago, on my regular round of pinning, and for some strange reason it never left my mind. It was basically saying anything you are doing at that moment, do it to the fullest and the loudest degree. Which I find so powerful. I feel like we take to much time thinking, sometimes we just need to go and do.

I guess listening to that song and reading this quote, really have made me feel that every moment is precious, so why not live it to the fullest extent? Not like I'm going to get all crazy with this "life is precious" speech, but it was something I needed to hear. Instead of wasting the day away inside, I'm going to sit outside and read a book, or go up the canyon just because I can. Maybe I'll give myself a make over, just for the heck of it. I guess what I'm trying say is that sometimes we just need to give our lives a little extra omph.

Until next time,

-O

Rivers and Roads By: The Head and the Heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2J-0EtsCpo